Social Etiquette and the Mobile Phone

Recently a friend sent me a chain email that bemoaned our modern culture of incessant chatting even in the presence of company. Some of photos would be funny if what they depicted was not an unfortunate and severe decline in social etiquette. Some in this country (South Africa) have blamed this on the popularity of RIM’s Blackberry phones. I am afraid that is not the whole truth.

It is quite disconcerting how good old manners are being eroded by how we relate to cellphones or mobile telephones – whichever you prefer. To be fair the decline began long before the fruit-named gadget became all the rage. Let me illustrate, it has become acceptable that when you are sitting with someone and their phone rings they are permitted to interrupt your conversation and entertain the caller who is not present. The implication of this conduct is that the caller is given preference over you who has made time to meet the person who has now turned his/her back on you to entertain the absent caller. Don’t get me wrong I am not implying that when we are sitting with friends or family we should not answer our calls. I am however bemoaning the apparent lack of discretion.

What we are now seeing with the BBM craze is in effect an extension of the above conduct. The chatting addiction is fuelled by the fact that the chatter need not verbally interrupt the person who’s in their company. The effect is however the same and can be summarized as follows, ‘even though I’m physically with you I think my ‘friend’ is worthy of my time than you who is right here with me.’

I now understand why the cellphone voicemail system remains free because it possibly remains the most under-utilised of all cellular phone services. We go to all lengths to ensure that once our cellphone rings, we must answer. Typically thought is not given to the impact of doing so to those present. In times past people would ask to be excused prior to answering their phones in the midst of conversation with other people. I am however seeing this courtesy less and less.

I am certain there is much ground to be covered by sociologist here on the cause and motivation for such rapid decline in common courtesy. There is much to be learnt about what causes us to feel compelled to answer our phones even when it is neither compelling nor necessary to do so.

Is there anything that can be done to arrest the rot?

Rudyard Kipling's IF

The intention of this blog is to share my thoughts and reflect life and things around me as well as on this planet we live in. Below is Kipling's masterpiece poem titled. I have in fact in my other blog - Enormous Potential - I however felt it would be an appropriate opening salvo for this new adventure. I am a firm believer in looking back and understanding where I come from in order to understand where I am going. I am fascinated by how Kipling does that here in the context of manhood.

I hope you enjoy his brilliance, here goes:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a man my son!